Fall has fallen, and so have I.

It's 11:15am on Monday and I'm at home watching "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" CJ is here too, we are both sick.

I came down with the flu (presumably H1N1, which I was, ironically, vaccinated against) and subsequently developed a secondary sinus infection which I finally got antibiotics for today. I gave CJ the flu as well. He went in to work today and they sent him home, telling him to Lysol everything he touched on the way out.

I'm lucky that I am so new at work, because even though I was scheduled to see patients at a regular pace today (I saw patients last week, but at a very slow pace), I only had one appointment scheduled (usually my day fills up with same-day appointments). Work was really cool about it, and they actually have me blocked out for tomorrow unless I let them know that I'll be coming back in. I think I'll probably be fine by tomorrow because I usually respond really quickly to antibiotics.

Work in general is great, but super overwhelming. Jumping into pediatrics during the height of a flu pandemic that is targeting children, as well as the beginning of the croup and RSV season, is insane. I am dealing with really sick kids and questioning every single decision I make. And I know I've made mistakes, so I am just trying to ask for as much help as I can....a second set of ears to listen to a 9 year-old's lungs (yep, bilateral basilar rales), a second set of eyes on a strange looking scab-rash-thing on a 5 year-old (Non-textbook impetigo) or an opinion on prescriptions (too many instances to list).

It's been really humbling...which I think it is supposed to be. I do admit, however, that I spend more than a little time at home thinking about patients I've seen each day, wondering how they are doing, and if I did the right thing. That part of the job sucks.

I know it will get better, but I also know it will be a slow road with lots of peaks and valleys.

Missing my Hillsboro peeps.

Jen