Dictate This.

Well, I tried to avoid it completely, but I eventually ended up having to do my first phone dictations today. Let me just say, the poor person who has to type out my ramblings full of "uhs" and "sorry, scratch that" is a saint, and I'm sorry. It is so hard to dictate! I wrote the first note out and just read it off my computer screen, but convinced myself that doing that was cheating, so instead I just read off the notes I had scribbled during the patient visit. The first note I did that way actually got cut off by the recording service - I think I took too long or something. The second note went a bit better - I chose a very simple appointment and think it might have turned out not as terribly (at least I hung up on the answering service, not the other way around). Thankfully these notes wont go into the actual chart - my preceptor will do a proper dictation. These are for my own practice so that when they get printed out I can show them to my doc and have her critique them.

My apartment is a disaster zone at the moment. I have dishes everywhere, socks on the kitchen floor and books and papers scattered all around. I'm not sure if I'm rebelling against having to move out by just refusing to clean up, or if this is a physical manifestation of my emotional state. It sounds deep...but mostly I'm just still writing about this to avoid having to clean. It's going to take forever.

Tomorrow my preceptor said we could come in late because we don't have to work at the clinic, but we still have to visit all the patients in the hospital. Unfortunately, her idea of "late" is 9am. So much for that big party I was going to throw (ha!).

As of today I have 4 weeks left (assuming my preceptor doesn't figure out that my last day is Aug 1, not July 31). I'm totally counting the days. I wish I could have a better attitude about it, but that really is just too much to ask at this point. I did get to have a good (quick) chat with the PA who works in my docs office though. She is young, just having graduated a year and a half ago, and I grilled her about whether or not she does on call, how much PAs are allowed to do in Montana, if her schedule gets filled daily and basically, if she gets respect as a PA. Her responses were pretty encourging - she acknowedges that internal med is a new spot for PAs and that it took her a bit to establish herself, but that now she has a full schedule most days without having to do call. It sounds exactly like what I want!! A nice 8-5 schedule that fulfills my career aspirations without sacrificing my home life. Good stuff...

I need to put more pictures here for those of you who aren't big on wordiness. Perhaps if I take lots of pictures of Havre, I can better convey my misery to you all by demonstrating the utter dismal-ness of this town. There goes my Suzy Sunshine attitude again...sorry!

I was thinking recently that there have been a few things I've learned about myself since being in Havre. #1) I'm really messy....I knew this, but it is now cemented and I'm ashamed. #2) I can cook better than I thought I could. #3) I can distract myself from completing necessary tasks unbelievably well. #4) I can survive on my own, but never want to have to.

Thanks for the phone calls and messages of support.

Jen