I see dead people.

Well a lot has happened since I last wrote...first of all, I did my few hours in the pathology lab on Friday, and accurately identified a basal cell carcinoma (non-invasive skin cancer). Then I went home, did laundry and packed up to leave apartment #2 and move into the sleeper room in the hospital for the week. I decided that I would probably have a panic attack if I stayed in Havre for another weekend so I made a reservation to stay in a hotel down in Great Falls (2 hours south) just to get out of town for a bit.

I quickly moved my stuff into the sleeper room on Saturday morning, then immediately left for Great Falls. Despite seeing skin cancer under a microscope just the day prior, my only plan for the weekend was to lay out by the pool of my hotel and get a tan. My hopes were dashed when I got there and realized it was an indoor pool. Being crafty, desperately white and shameless, I took my bikini'd self to the park across the street and proceeded to lay out there, even though there was nobody else at the park. A little weird, maybe, but it was worth it.

I wasn't sure what to do with myself that night, so I went to the place I always feel at home, Applebees. I sauntered up to the bar and ordered a drink and some food, and soon after a guy in his 30's sat down and did the same. I was dying for social contact at this point so I remarked on how I thought I'd be the only person alone at the bar on a Saturday night. He responded, "oh, I do this all the time." Odd. Finally had some conversation and learned he travels for business, which made much more sense. Not the most exciting feller, and I drank him under the table, but it was good to talk with someone under the age of 50 (something I don't often get in Havre). I took a brief walk along the Missouri River at sunset before heading back to the hotel:



I got up the next morning and after skimming the greasiest, most disgusting breakfast buffet in the history of mankind (I chose the grapefruit halves out of pure desperation), I left for "home," (Havre). When I got here, I just couldn't make myself go to the hospital yet, so I went to a local park to read. When I couldn't stand nature crawling all over me anymore, I got into my car and that was when I saw it: a voicemail.

It was the PA at the clinic (an under-30!) asking me what my plans were for dinner. I called her back and when she realized that I was staying in the hospital sleeper room for the week, she demanded that I go get all of my stuff and come over to her house, that I would be staying with her instead. Seriously? Yes, she was serious. Her husband is out of town until Friday anyway, and she could use the company (maybe a lie, but I chose to believe). A few hours later I was settling into my new guest bedroom and feeling elated at this turn of events.

We hung out and did grocery shopping, ate tacos and watched TV. She said she remembered what it was like to be a PA student on rotations, traveling all the time and being away from home. I could have kissed the ground she walked on for being so nice to me. Plus, she has a little Maltese dog that is just the cutest little thing ever. I love big dogs, but this thing snuggles and loves me already, so I'm quite happy to run around with it in my arms like some sort of Paris Hilton wannabe. (This is "Hunter"):



Today I followed another internist during rounds, because my preceptor is letting her 20 year-old niece shadow her this week for some school requirement (um...hello? Couldn't have possibly scheduled that some other time?). It was a little awkward because I felt very "passed around," but at least we were done quickly and he was pretty nice to me. After that I met up with my preceptor's husband, (the pathologist) to observe him doing an autopsy. He thought I was crazy for wanting to see it, but I couldn't pass up the opportunity.

Wow. I'm not easily grossed out, but wow. The smell is still stuck in my nose. I don't know how, but I managed not only to avoid passing out or throwing up, but I actually got in there and identified some anatomy and observed dissections of coronary arteries, etc. The plaque on the wall reading, "investigate the dead to save the living," became my silent mantra. I really may never forget that smell...a thousand times worse than the cadaver lab. I will never volunteer to observe another one. Big lesson learned, but still a good experience overall, I guess.

17 days left.